A load of balls

Rafael Benitez has called his defence in for extra training after losing at Sunderland. A delivery of beach balls has arrived at Anfield so that Claudio Reyna can improve his goalkeeping skills. The Liverpool keeper has been blamed by most football experts for misjudging the angle at which a football deflects off a beach ball. Steve Bruce has claimed that hours of practice have yielded the results he expected. “We regularly practise our shooting with different objects on the field. Darren is a dedicated professional and spent most of last week trying to deflect shots off a vole, a dalek and 12 foot inflatable of Ronald Reagan. It paid off”, added Steve with a wry smile. Meanwhile, the FA is to issue guidelines on which objects should constitute the need to stop a game. To a press gathering, a spokesman for the FA said that standard-sized crisp bags and Kit Kat wrappers would not necessitate a stoppage, whereas a family pack crisp bag or three or more burgers that are less than 50% eaten would require the referee to stop the game. Animals would also require the game to be stopped, although rodents would be an exception. Referees are thought to be furious about the plans. One referee stated that it is entirely possible that video cameras may be used for the first time to detect animals entering the playing area.

 

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  • 10/22/2009 7:23 AM RSPCA man wrote:
    The vole should not be used in football training. We will send an investigater immedieately (FootballCynic writes: I was going to vet this comment properly, but decided to publish it.)
    Reply to this
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