FootballCynic watched the local derby between Chelsea and Fulham in a Malaysian pub this weekend. With three goals in the first ten minutes, you would think it was a great advert for English football. In fact, the eyes were drawn more to the band playing 70's pop than the TV screen and not just because the lead singer was a Malaysian version of Graeme Souness.

The game was dull dull dull. There was none of the passion of a local derby and it was frankly just tedious. Now, I suspect few of the players competing knew a couple of years ago that Chelsea and Fulham are local rivals - it's possible that some still don't know now. The game was marred by watching overpaid stars with seemingly low pain thresholds and an uncanny ability to fall over at the drop of a hat - a skill associated with clowns in the past.

At the risk of offending South West London, neither Chelsea nor Fulham do much for me, although I think Roy Hodgson is OK even if he looks like a 1970s manager - but not a 1970s lead singer.