I am quite sure if I scored a goal in the Premiership, I would wave my arms frantically, do six somersaults, kiss the badge on my shirt before running to the corner flag and dancing around it in a strange way. Of course, then I would need to do a weird mime. Perhaps, pretending to sweep leaves, as a private joke to my wife, who would instantly see along with several million viewers around the world that I had reneged on my promise to clear the leaves that were all over the lawn by Saturday afternoon.

Of course, goal celebrations are becoming more exciting than the goal themselves. Roger Milla kicked it all off when he danced around the corner flag after scoring for Cameroon. But, a football pitch is devoid of much furniture (goal nets just mean you get tangled up), so many now use one of the corner flags as their prop.

One of the best ones I have seen is Matthew Russell of Castleton Gabriels who celebrates his goal against FC United of Manchester by running to the stand, sitting in a seat and applauding. It just shows there is quality in the lower leagues. Personally, I find the antics of Robbie Keane and Frank Lampard tiresome and corner flag dances are now two a penny.

The best two of all time? Well the funniest is Didier Drogba’s goal celebration for Chelsea when he flaps his arms then wiggles round the corner flag, but doesn’t realise the goal has been ruled out some seconds before for offside. And, the king of them? Of course, Eric Cantona, who didn’t react at all when he scored that cracker for Manchester United against Sunderland.