Average Football Club Sudbury?
AFC Sudbury cannot claim to be the most successful team in the country. However, they are from the worst team in the country too. Because before today's games, AFC Sudbury stand in 794th place in the overall league table of all clubs according to the ever-reliable Mr Kempster (www.tonykempster.co.uk). This is exactly halfway down the list, which starts with Newtown Villa at the top and Luton Town at the bottom.
Now, FootballCynic is not a great fan of teams that begin with letters - AFC Fletton, FC Beaconsfield, AFC Hornchurch and the abysmal DRG Stapleton all suffer from this, whilst Pilkington XXX is a perfectly good name for a football team. However, AFC Sudbury are a likeable bunch. We can only assume that AFC stands for "Average Football Club" - will they change their name if the drop below their average status?
As for news from AFC Sudbury, we learn that today's visitors, high-flying Nuneaton, are "confident", "worried", find AFC Sudbury "inconsistent" and "hope to catch them on a bad day". This all makes for an interesting clash for AFC Sudbury's young squad. Indeed, a quick look at the squad photos shows 20-year old, Ali Angell (presumably first due to alphabetical order), who is the club's physio. it gets more curious when you find that she is sponsored by Keith Miller Band. So, AFC Sudbury are anything but average, except, of course in terms of overall national placing.
Now, FootballCynic is not a great fan of teams that begin with letters - AFC Fletton, FC Beaconsfield, AFC Hornchurch and the abysmal DRG Stapleton all suffer from this, whilst Pilkington XXX is a perfectly good name for a football team. However, AFC Sudbury are a likeable bunch. We can only assume that AFC stands for "Average Football Club" - will they change their name if the drop below their average status?
As for news from AFC Sudbury, we learn that today's visitors, high-flying Nuneaton, are "confident", "worried", find AFC Sudbury "inconsistent" and "hope to catch them on a bad day". This all makes for an interesting clash for AFC Sudbury's young squad. Indeed, a quick look at the squad photos shows 20-year old, Ali Angell (presumably first due to alphabetical order), who is the club's physio. it gets more curious when you find that she is sponsored by Keith Miller Band. So, AFC Sudbury are anything but average, except, of course in terms of overall national placing.
What is it about Luton? Not only are they bottom of AIC Anorak-In-Chief) Tony Kempster's aggregated points table, but they are also represented at the foot of his 1014-team attendance table. Not by Luton Town, of course, but by the nearby Brache Sparta F.C. of the Spartan South Midlands League Division One, with an average attendance this season of seven. Yes, seven. Modest though this quantity is, our friends at Brache Sparta have not escaped the all-seeing eye of Wikipedia, which notes that BSFC were also last year's lanterne rouge with an identical average of seven. The same seven, I wonder? Furthermore, their position looks pretty safe, as last-but-one Tokyngton Manor have an average attendance of fourteen - one more than the giddiest heights scaled by BSFC this season. Brache takes its name from a Czech outfit - I guess that's far enough away to escape easy identification with Luton.
FootballCynic writes: Of course, Brache Sparta featured before on this blog. The original piece has been reactivated and appears near the bottom. As for the lanterne rouge, isn't this the red light area in the French quarter of Luton that David Pleat was allegedly seen?
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Whaddya mean "allegedly", Mr Cynic? It may be the season of mince pies, but we don't expect minced words from you of all people!
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And while we're at it, can we clear up the matter of whether the original Brache Sparta hailed from Russia (c.f. your original article, quoting the Luton bunch's website), or the erstwhile Czechoslovakia (c.f. Wikipedia)? Mr Google only seems to know about Tycho Brache - an alternative spellting of Tycho Brahe - the 16th century Danish astronomer, eponymous lunar crater, & alleged alter ego of David Pleat. FootballCynic writes: Our research department is sure that the link is Russian, but has cancelled its Christmas break to check. Maybe, you are confusing this with David Pleat exceeding his overdraft limit after an alleged expensive Friday night with a bouncing Czech.
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It's that word "alleged" again! Whatever happened to the freedom of the press? Make no mistake about it - Pleats are frequently found in skirts. FootballCynic: Ahem (geddit?), your comment had me in stitches. Sew funny.
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Sir - this is interesting. Since you posted this article, AFC Sudbury seem to be hell bent on mediocrity. Four consecutive draws, in fact. And, yes, I did get a new anorak for Christmas. FootballCynic writes: Dear Mr F.Reptile, you are not quite right here. At the risk of being pedantic, draws will mean that AFC Sudbury will move downwards.
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