You would have thought that a club, that boasts "a fully stocked bar and kitchen area, a number of changing rooms, ladies and gentlemen's toilets and a disabled toilet", would be successful. Further, a club, which has a well run junior section, a dog agility club and the promise of the renowned duo, Country Company, playing live at the end of November, would be comfortably placed in the world of non-league football. The committee has a good mix of reputable looking people - Lauren Horton, the Club's welfare officer, is always quick to warn us about the effects of adverse weather, whilst Melanie Nickolls looks a reliable minute taker and Rick Noble looks an ideal club co-ordinator. But, things aren't right. Sadly, Asfordby Amateurs have lost all 10 of their league games at an average loss of 6.4 goals per game. This is regrettably worse than any team in the country if you exclude the bad boys that have points deducted because they are not big enough to fight. So, we're right behind Asfordby Amateurs - and, remember, there's always the archery club to visit if you need some relief from the football.